Just add alcohol
Mar. 29th, 2026 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroque_mongooseWell... today I was going to tell you all about M's horse manure business, and I'd even thought of a good title for it; but that will have to wait, because yesterday's D&D session was absolutely priceless. (Also, yes, I would normally be in church at this hour, but British Summer Time happened... on top of the fact that I've been waking up too early for the last few mornings and it all caught up with me today, so I got the double whammy.)
Anyway. I had our intrepid party exploring a small but moderately complex cave system; this little halfling girl had climbed up onto a ledge right at the back somewhere and got stuck, and her sister had come running out to get help, so the party obviously came in to rescue her. And, of course, this being D&D, there was a good deal else in the cave as well as this poor kid on the ledge.
The very first thing they found was a case of six bottles of finest brandy. As far as they were concerned, that was pretty much random, but I'd put that there for a good reason. What they didn't know was that there was a mimic deeper into the cave system; for those who don't know, a mimic is a moderately big monster which can take any form as long as it's about the right size, and very often it appears in the form of a large wooden chest. They have quite a nasty slam attack, plus - and this is where the brandy comes in - they secrete a strong adhesive by means of which they can grab hold of you and do you further damage by crushing; however, alcohol will dissolve this adhesive easily. Basically, I'm giving them a bit of help if they have the sense to use it.
So most of the party are just picking up the brandy... and then the paladin tries to stop them. He says it's stealing. Of course I think "oh no...". Fortunately, the bard decides to try to convince him that it's all right, they're just going to take it back to its rightful owner, since after all it's not safe in here! The bard rolls a 26 for Bluff, so even though the paladin rolls 22 for Sense Motive, he's convinced, and the brandy ends up in the rogue's haversack. Phew.
After a while (and dealing very adroitly with a centipede swarm in another cave chamber), they reach the entrance of the chamber with the mimic in it, and the wizard asks if her weasel familiar can smell anything in here. Good weasel. Obviously a mimic is going to smell a bit weird to a sensitive little nose. I say, yes, he can smell something strange that he's never smelt before. They enter cautiously, they see the mimic (which is masquerading as the classic battered wooden chest), they learn that the odd smell is coming from this chest. The paladin, who knows all about mimics, promptly attacks it; and, of course, that blows its cover, much to its annoyance. Initiative is rolled (which basically means battle is on).
So when it gets to the mimic's turn, of course it attacks the paladin; and, unfortunately, it rolls extremely well. The paladin has the best armour rating of the whole party, so he's hard to hit, but the mimic hits him. The paladin ends up badly damaged and, inevitably, stuck to the mimic; and if the rest of the party don't manage either to free him or kill the mimic before its next turn, he's going to take further crush damage automatically on every round.
They get him free with the aid of the brandy he very nearly stopped them taking. Which is delightful. What's more, the helpful weasel can now no longer smell anything in the cave system, because the paladin stinks of fine brandy... so if they'd happened to run into the otyugh, he wouldn't have been able to alert them till they were almost on top of it (they didn't; they found and rescued the child first).
As GM, never make the mistake of assuming you're the only storyteller in the room. You get to write the main melody, but the players are going to add their own harmonies and ornaments, and more often than not those are bloomin' amazing.
Anyway. I had our intrepid party exploring a small but moderately complex cave system; this little halfling girl had climbed up onto a ledge right at the back somewhere and got stuck, and her sister had come running out to get help, so the party obviously came in to rescue her. And, of course, this being D&D, there was a good deal else in the cave as well as this poor kid on the ledge.
The very first thing they found was a case of six bottles of finest brandy. As far as they were concerned, that was pretty much random, but I'd put that there for a good reason. What they didn't know was that there was a mimic deeper into the cave system; for those who don't know, a mimic is a moderately big monster which can take any form as long as it's about the right size, and very often it appears in the form of a large wooden chest. They have quite a nasty slam attack, plus - and this is where the brandy comes in - they secrete a strong adhesive by means of which they can grab hold of you and do you further damage by crushing; however, alcohol will dissolve this adhesive easily. Basically, I'm giving them a bit of help if they have the sense to use it.
So most of the party are just picking up the brandy... and then the paladin tries to stop them. He says it's stealing. Of course I think "oh no...". Fortunately, the bard decides to try to convince him that it's all right, they're just going to take it back to its rightful owner, since after all it's not safe in here! The bard rolls a 26 for Bluff, so even though the paladin rolls 22 for Sense Motive, he's convinced, and the brandy ends up in the rogue's haversack. Phew.
After a while (and dealing very adroitly with a centipede swarm in another cave chamber), they reach the entrance of the chamber with the mimic in it, and the wizard asks if her weasel familiar can smell anything in here. Good weasel. Obviously a mimic is going to smell a bit weird to a sensitive little nose. I say, yes, he can smell something strange that he's never smelt before. They enter cautiously, they see the mimic (which is masquerading as the classic battered wooden chest), they learn that the odd smell is coming from this chest. The paladin, who knows all about mimics, promptly attacks it; and, of course, that blows its cover, much to its annoyance. Initiative is rolled (which basically means battle is on).
So when it gets to the mimic's turn, of course it attacks the paladin; and, unfortunately, it rolls extremely well. The paladin has the best armour rating of the whole party, so he's hard to hit, but the mimic hits him. The paladin ends up badly damaged and, inevitably, stuck to the mimic; and if the rest of the party don't manage either to free him or kill the mimic before its next turn, he's going to take further crush damage automatically on every round.
They get him free with the aid of the brandy he very nearly stopped them taking. Which is delightful. What's more, the helpful weasel can now no longer smell anything in the cave system, because the paladin stinks of fine brandy... so if they'd happened to run into the otyugh, he wouldn't have been able to alert them till they were almost on top of it (they didn't; they found and rescued the child first).
As GM, never make the mistake of assuming you're the only storyteller in the room. You get to write the main melody, but the players are going to add their own harmonies and ornaments, and more often than not those are bloomin' amazing.
