Satisfaction guaranteed
Jan. 10th, 2026 10:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroque_mongooseDue to the fact that I was ill for a large part of December, I have just bought a small teapot.
The above sentence does make sense, but it probably needs a few more links before that becomes immediately obvious. The illness was due to my blood pressure going too low. One way to get your blood pressure up is extra hydration; however, in my case that is problematic because of Sibyl, so to take in extra liquid I have to "stealth drink". That means I have a flask and sip from it very slowly. I was originally drinking Marigold stock so that I also got the extra salt, but as I started to improve I decided I didn't need to do that in the long term, and switched to rooibos; however, I am keeping the stealth hydration going, as it does seem to stabilise Sibyl a little, and anything that does that even to a small extent is worth persisting with.
And I've been brewing the rooibos in the jug because I don't have a teapot, and, as you'd expect, the jug is now starting to stain a little. So I thought, right. I had better get myself a little teapot.
I went online and started looking, and the most suitable one turned out to be from John Lewis. I thought, oh, great, I've got £50 worth of e-gift cards for them in my inbox, so I can pick up some more kitchen stuff I need while I'm at it and save postage. For instance, there are a couple of utensils I don't need very often but always get annoyed when I do need them, because I don't have them. So I got myself those and a couple of other things, and they're all arriving today - well, almost all; part of the order arrived yesterday, in a very bashed-up box. Fortunately it wasn't fragile.
That particular part of the order had a two-year guarantee on it, which arrived by e-mail. The item is guaranteed against all forms of mechanical failure, but not against misuse, accidental damage, or the batteries running out or malfunctioning. It's very comprehensive; there are about five paragraphs of this guarantee.
I read through the whole thing in increasing disbelief and, I have to say, hilarity. You see, this thing has no moving parts. There's no actual way it can suffer mechanical failure.
It's a utensil stand. I mean, it's solid; it's Joseph Joseph, which is a good brand. It's not even going to break unless a steamroller drives over it or something similar.
But, hey. It has two years' comprehensive guarantee!
The above sentence does make sense, but it probably needs a few more links before that becomes immediately obvious. The illness was due to my blood pressure going too low. One way to get your blood pressure up is extra hydration; however, in my case that is problematic because of Sibyl, so to take in extra liquid I have to "stealth drink". That means I have a flask and sip from it very slowly. I was originally drinking Marigold stock so that I also got the extra salt, but as I started to improve I decided I didn't need to do that in the long term, and switched to rooibos; however, I am keeping the stealth hydration going, as it does seem to stabilise Sibyl a little, and anything that does that even to a small extent is worth persisting with.
And I've been brewing the rooibos in the jug because I don't have a teapot, and, as you'd expect, the jug is now starting to stain a little. So I thought, right. I had better get myself a little teapot.
I went online and started looking, and the most suitable one turned out to be from John Lewis. I thought, oh, great, I've got £50 worth of e-gift cards for them in my inbox, so I can pick up some more kitchen stuff I need while I'm at it and save postage. For instance, there are a couple of utensils I don't need very often but always get annoyed when I do need them, because I don't have them. So I got myself those and a couple of other things, and they're all arriving today - well, almost all; part of the order arrived yesterday, in a very bashed-up box. Fortunately it wasn't fragile.
That particular part of the order had a two-year guarantee on it, which arrived by e-mail. The item is guaranteed against all forms of mechanical failure, but not against misuse, accidental damage, or the batteries running out or malfunctioning. It's very comprehensive; there are about five paragraphs of this guarantee.
I read through the whole thing in increasing disbelief and, I have to say, hilarity. You see, this thing has no moving parts. There's no actual way it can suffer mechanical failure.
It's a utensil stand. I mean, it's solid; it's Joseph Joseph, which is a good brand. It's not even going to break unless a steamroller drives over it or something similar.
But, hey. It has two years' comprehensive guarantee!
