The end of the line
Feb. 27th, 2026 10:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroque_mongooseAfter that final little uptick, Mum died rather suddenly last night about 10 pm. We're all still a bit numb. The cause of death is not yet known, but "general everything failure" would be a decent guess; she hadn't been able to eat or drink properly for about a week, so she was also very dehydrated, which won't have helped. She was 87.
Exactly where she stood spiritually is unclear. While she certainly believed in God, in the sense that she believed that he exists, whether or not she believed in him in the sense that she trusted him has always been somewhat hazy; and those two things are very different. At any rate she wasn't a Catholic, though I think she was probably heading in that direction. One of my sisters is, and she had the priest from her church round to visit Mum a few times. Mum liked him (everyone does, I think; I've met him, and I like him too), and she always said she was very happy to have her funeral service at that church. So I dare say that's where I'll be in about a month's time.
We all have a range of fairly complex emotions going on. While I'm fairly sure all of us forgave both our parents a long time ago for our, shall we say, problematic upbringing (it is much easier to forgive someone who was well-intentioned but clueless than someone who was actively malicious, and both parents were always the former), that doesn't alter the fact that even now we're all still healing from it. And that adds to the already complicated swirl that is going on... yes, obviously we're going to miss her, but also, well, she did want to go and now she's got what she wanted, so there's that, plus both my sisters are now going to be able to resume normal life again, but then that means one of them has to go back to her husband, which is another whole can of worms I won't open here... anyway. You get the picture.
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and postpone tomorrow's D&D session. I really do not have the headspace to plan encounters today.
Exactly where she stood spiritually is unclear. While she certainly believed in God, in the sense that she believed that he exists, whether or not she believed in him in the sense that she trusted him has always been somewhat hazy; and those two things are very different. At any rate she wasn't a Catholic, though I think she was probably heading in that direction. One of my sisters is, and she had the priest from her church round to visit Mum a few times. Mum liked him (everyone does, I think; I've met him, and I like him too), and she always said she was very happy to have her funeral service at that church. So I dare say that's where I'll be in about a month's time.
We all have a range of fairly complex emotions going on. While I'm fairly sure all of us forgave both our parents a long time ago for our, shall we say, problematic upbringing (it is much easier to forgive someone who was well-intentioned but clueless than someone who was actively malicious, and both parents were always the former), that doesn't alter the fact that even now we're all still healing from it. And that adds to the already complicated swirl that is going on... yes, obviously we're going to miss her, but also, well, she did want to go and now she's got what she wanted, so there's that, plus both my sisters are now going to be able to resume normal life again, but then that means one of them has to go back to her husband, which is another whole can of worms I won't open here... anyway. You get the picture.
And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and postpone tomorrow's D&D session. I really do not have the headspace to plan encounters today.
