Double take
Mar. 24th, 2026 11:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroque_mongooseOur church has a Monday night prayer meeting on Zoom, which I usually attend, largely because it's a very good way of being involved in church life without actually having to go anywhere after dark. (The street lighting in many parts of this town is pretty terrible, apparently because the developers want to save money; they'll power up the street lights properly just before they hand them over to the town council. Therefore there are several places it's not safe for me to go after dark, because the pavements are in such a state that I need to be able to see them. Even where they've been re-done, there are still raised ironworks which could cause problems if I took them at the wrong angle.)
So last night we were praying for the church youth weekend away, which is just coming up. A group of our 11-18s are going off to a castle not very far from here, where they'll get a range of fun activities and teaching. I'm sure they'll all have a great time. And someone decided to pray for those children and teenagers who had chosen not to attend this time, not wanting them to be left out.
Of course, my immediate reaction was "oh, they won't have chosen not to attend - they'll have been told they're not allowed because it's a waste of money". And then I had to stop myself. Actually, no. None of these children is being brought up the way I was. If they're not going this time, it'll be because they've chosen not to, for whatever reason (social anxiety, revising for exams, something else booked, anything you can think of); because every single one of them has reasonable parents who value their children's choices and well-being, and will do their best to accommodate, within reason, what the children want to do. Literally all of them. That is quite a thought. They're not even going to be told it's a waste of money for them to go on trips, but not for their younger siblings; I'd be repeatedly shouted at for asking to be allowed to go on trips, even when they were strongly encouraged for educational reasons, but my sister got to go on a school choir trip. To the USA, of all places (it was perfectly safe to do that at the time). It must have cost a small fortune. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she got that opportunity; I'd just have appreciated having opportunities like that myself in addition, that's all. I'm sure it would have helped build my confidence... oh. Right. Yes. That's probably one of the things my father was afraid might happen.
But, anyway, after the prayer meeting I got to thinking about what would happen if a teenager in our church came to one of the elders and said "I'd really love to go on this youth weekend, but my parents won't let me because it's a waste of money." I am pretty sure the money would very rapidly be found; and if the parents still didn't consent, that would be an indicator that it wasn't really about money at all, and let's just say some conversations would be had. And a careful eye would be kept on the parents by our safeguarding team, because, yes, we have one of those; we have had since we were a considerably smaller church, because our elders read about a major abuse case that happened in another church, and instead of saying "oh, well, that could never happen here", their reaction was "we need to put as much structure in place as we can to make very sure that never happens here". Because, just like the disciples discussed at length in the previous post, we're all human; and because, just like my late father, you don't even have to be deliberately malicious to end up abusing children or other vulnerable people.
Thankfully, that's just a thought experiment. They all got a choice. And that's great to know.
So last night we were praying for the church youth weekend away, which is just coming up. A group of our 11-18s are going off to a castle not very far from here, where they'll get a range of fun activities and teaching. I'm sure they'll all have a great time. And someone decided to pray for those children and teenagers who had chosen not to attend this time, not wanting them to be left out.
Of course, my immediate reaction was "oh, they won't have chosen not to attend - they'll have been told they're not allowed because it's a waste of money". And then I had to stop myself. Actually, no. None of these children is being brought up the way I was. If they're not going this time, it'll be because they've chosen not to, for whatever reason (social anxiety, revising for exams, something else booked, anything you can think of); because every single one of them has reasonable parents who value their children's choices and well-being, and will do their best to accommodate, within reason, what the children want to do. Literally all of them. That is quite a thought. They're not even going to be told it's a waste of money for them to go on trips, but not for their younger siblings; I'd be repeatedly shouted at for asking to be allowed to go on trips, even when they were strongly encouraged for educational reasons, but my sister got to go on a school choir trip. To the USA, of all places (it was perfectly safe to do that at the time). It must have cost a small fortune. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she got that opportunity; I'd just have appreciated having opportunities like that myself in addition, that's all. I'm sure it would have helped build my confidence... oh. Right. Yes. That's probably one of the things my father was afraid might happen.
But, anyway, after the prayer meeting I got to thinking about what would happen if a teenager in our church came to one of the elders and said "I'd really love to go on this youth weekend, but my parents won't let me because it's a waste of money." I am pretty sure the money would very rapidly be found; and if the parents still didn't consent, that would be an indicator that it wasn't really about money at all, and let's just say some conversations would be had. And a careful eye would be kept on the parents by our safeguarding team, because, yes, we have one of those; we have had since we were a considerably smaller church, because our elders read about a major abuse case that happened in another church, and instead of saying "oh, well, that could never happen here", their reaction was "we need to put as much structure in place as we can to make very sure that never happens here". Because, just like the disciples discussed at length in the previous post, we're all human; and because, just like my late father, you don't even have to be deliberately malicious to end up abusing children or other vulnerable people.
Thankfully, that's just a thought experiment. They all got a choice. And that's great to know.
